As a man in ministry I have seen the effects the media portrayal of the perfect woman has on girls and women today. First as a youth pastor then as a pastor/church planter/revivalist and now as a chaplain and associate pastor. I’ve seen beautiful young and not so young women who have no self-worth because of the models and actresses they see in magazines and on TV and in movies. They try to look like these women, not realizing these women don’t look like that either. Not only have I had to deal with eating disorders but also young girls who want to add to that body part, take away from this one. They think no young man will love them because they don’t look like this girl or that girl, whoever is the hot young actress or model. Even full grown mothers and even grandmothers who want fat sucked out of this place and pushed into that one, lips plumped, wrinkles removed. All the while, never realizing that while it may initially attract a fellow’s eyes it is the internal beauty that keeps a man worth having anyway.
What people don’t seem to realize is that God created you with the body type you have both for men and women. I see the same thing with guys. It’s why steroids and now Garcinia Cambogia for losing mad amounts of weight. But what we fail to see is first God looks on the inside and sees only the beauty of your heart and spirit.
By the same token if a person is in love with you, truly in love with you, then they don’t see what’s on the outside either. They are attracted to the real you. After all the outside changes no matter who you are, if you don’t believe me just look at the pictures of me and my wife. The first one is our wedding, the second is ten years ago, and the last one we just took using my iPad. We both have changed. There is physically more to love of both of us. Her hair has changed color and gravity and three children have changed her shape. I’ve lost most of my hair and am three times the man I used to be physically. On top of that I have a physical ailment that keeps me from doing the things I need to lose those extra pounds. Plus I have lines on my face and arms and spots are showing up in my skin. The hair fled from the top of my head, but has gone nuts over my eyes and is coming out of places no hair should ever come out. While I won’t speak for my wife I am proud to say that I think she is more beautiful now than the day I married her. Her beauty comes from her soul and spirit not from the skin (though honestly that ain’t so bad either.)
Lady’s and gentlemen, I hope you take this to heart. The you that is inside is the most important part of you. If that’s beautiful then you will be attractive to the right kind of guy, ladies. If your inside is handsome, fella’s, then again you will attract ladies with the right type of beauty. I love when I meet someone who has learned that secret even if they haven’t met Mister or Miss Right yet.
One such lady is my friend and fellow writer, Traci Bonney. Traci told me she struggled for years with her body image before she learned to be comfortable in the body God gave her. While I am happily married and totally devoted to my wife, I will say next to my spouse, Traci is one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet. Even though we’ve never met in person we work together and interact to help each other with our craft all the time. I know she hasn’t met her Mister Right yet, but I also know he is out there somewhere wondering where she is.
Recently she asked me to look at a hoop dance she did to a song written by a former model about loving the you, you are. During that conversation she admitted to me that she hasn’t always been comfortable in the skin she’s in. Now due to some health issues, some of those insecurities have raised their ugly heads again. Then she found this woman who started a movement and wrote a song all about loving yourself and challenged people to do their own dance or interpretive movement to it. She especially wanted women without perfect airbrushed, plasticized, supermodel, A list actress bodies. It is the nobodyshame movements site and you can find it at www.nobodyshame.com. Below is the link to my friend’s hoopdance youtube page. I love the fact that she doesn’t let past or present body looks keep her from doing something she is so very talented at. Traci, my friend, YOU ROCK!!! Check out this hoop-dance inspired by and done to the song “ThisIsYaLife.” click HERE to see it. Until next time guys and gals, learn to be okay and even celebrate the body God gave you.