You know last week I didn’t understand how someone who was loved and had accomplished so much like Robin Williams had would end his own life. I understand emotional illnesses, they run in my family. What I couldn’t understand was how he could think ending his life was a solution. Yet today I find myself understanding it all too well. It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not, but today I understand thinking ‘Maybe it would better for them all if they just didn’t have to deal with me anymore.’ Or even ‘They would be better off if I had never existed at all.’
Maybe we all have those thoughts from time to time. When the world seems to hard to stay a part of, when we feel to broken to ever be of use to anyone. Yes today I can understand exactly where Mr. Williams could come to his decision to get off the world. Some people called him a coward some called him selfish. All called him depressed. Maybe it just all got to be too much. Maybe he thought they would be better without him. Maybe he just couldn’t go one more day. Today is a day like that for me. I don’t know if I can handle one more thing. I understand why he did what he did. Maybe he was braver than me but I just can’t take that solution. I’ll cry and sink into my depression but I’ll keep praying and hoping that God hears and is working on the solution for me.