A Change in tastes?

As everyone who is more than casually acquainted with me already knows, I’m a creature of habit in November. It’s all about two things National Novel Writers Month (NaNoWriMo) or NaNo for short and Thanksgiving. Also those that have helped and cheered me on in the past know that my NaNo novel is fueled by two things: Pepsi and Smarties candies. Only this year something has changed, this year I don’t have a taste for Smarties. They taste like dust. I’m sure that it has something to do with the stroke I’m still recovering from, but it was a shock to put what has for years been my favorite candy in my mouth and absolutely despise the taste. Instead, I find that I am craving cinnamon, specifically RED HOTS and ATOMIC FireBalls. Thankfully, I didn’t stock up on the smarties yet. (I was waiting for the after Halloween sale.) Instead, I went today and bought out the store of RED HOTS and Fireballs.

Not a big deal I know, but it got me thinking. 

What else has changed that I don’t know about with this stroke? I have noticed that lots of things I used to eat don’t taste the same to me anymore, but none have been as dramatic a change as the smarties were. What if I cook the big family Thanksgiving meal, I always cook and find out that I don’t like any of it? What other changes might have happened that I am unaware of? Writing is still a struggle what if I find out that I can’t do that like I used to? My typing speed is greatly hindered by the weakness of my left hand. Where in past NaNos I’ve been able to write all day nonstop and get some 5,6 and even 10k days I’m going to be lucky to get the required 1700 to make goal this year. Sometimes I wonder why these things keep happening to me and why I have to keep downsizing my life. I don’t know the answer, but I am praying that next year will be one without all the health issues that have derailed my life the last few years.  Anyway thanks for listening and stay tuned for snippets of my Nano Novel “Out of the Darkness” Throughout the month next month.

 

Feeling like this puzzle

 
I’m heading home from the rehab hospital after my third stroke in as many years. This puzzle was part of my rehab. Once it was finished and we realized that there was a piece missing it struck me, I’m a lot like this puzzle. When I got here it felt like I’d been broken into a bunch of tiny pieces. Half my body didn’t work the way it was supposed to and I couldn’t remember things or even find some of the words I used everyday. I felt just like that puzzle looked when they gave it tome in therapy- a bunch of parts that were supposed to make one whole picture. I felt  broken, scared and wondered if I could ever return to the picture of myself I had been before this stroke. 
Like this puzzle it was going to take work, lots and lots of work. However with the help of the staff here at Healthsouth Rehabilitation hospital we were going to try and reassemble those tiny pieces into the man I was before this “incident”. For two weeks they pushed me, they challenged me and with their encouragement I pushed myself. Slowly just like the puzzle that they had me working the pieces started to go back together. Today I’m going home, but like my puzzle I’mnot finished there are pieces missing. My left side though stronger isn’t back to my prestroke strength. I now have to rely on a cane to keep my left leg from giving out when I walk and 150 feet wears me out. I have a piece  missing. Unlike my puzzle I’m not finished. There is still work to do. I’m going home but therapy is still part of my future. Maybe I’ll regain all that was lost maybe not. However even with pieces missing that little puzzle still looks pretty good. SoI think  do I.